Things that go bump in the night. . .

I have a confession to make and you MUST NOT USE IT AGAINST ME. . .
I am horribly, awfully, irrationally TERRIFIED of the movie that must not be named. (as it is referred to in our household)
Okay. . .the movie is "Signs." You know the one about the. . .GULP. . ..aliens directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong.
Yeah, the Mel Gibson one about the crop circles where he was the reverend and then he wasn't and the "There's a monster outside my window can I have a glass of water?" little girl.
(Okay, as I am writing this and now willingly thinking about the movie and I am getting the heebie-jeebies and looking over my shoulder. My guts are turning to ice as I type.)
WHY AM I WRITING ABOUT THIS??? IF IT SCARES ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY???
Anyway. . the movie was all about faith in the end and that's not all that scary, anyway?? And the humans beat the aliens, right? I mean, all it took as a little water, right?
So why the HELL am I so gosh darn scared of this frikkin' movie?
I have no clue.
But those aliens scare the shiz-nit out of me every time I think of them. Especially in the scene where they show the first image of the alien crossing the alley way in Brazil.
(Okay, now I am sweating, and not because it's already frikkin' SUMMER here)
So. . .anyway. . .maybe I thought it would be sorta cathartic to, you know, get it out in the open. That I am terrified of a movie. Like a little kid.
Like how I was terrified of Gremlins for about TEN YEARS. I was horribly scarred after seeing that movie,
But. . ..Signs. . .jeez.
The funny thing is that when I was teaching, some of my students learned that just mentioning the movie freaked me out. Yeah, they totally used it against me. Especially on Friday afternoons. Funny how things work. Don't you dare do that, or we will no longer be BFFs.
So recently we watched I Am Legend (LOVE Wil Smith in this movie; LOVE the dog; I am somewhat obsessed with the story and how it could have been SO. MUCH. BETTER right now) and my DH was really concerned that the monsters would have a similar effect as the Signs aliens. So we watched it together in the daylight with caution.
They only minorly freaked me out a little bit. And only at night.
Nothing compared to the aliens.
And it's the worst at night. And I am up a lot at night these days. A. LOT.
You see, it doesn't even take any sort of bump in the attic or settling of the house sounds to get my mind a'racin'. My brain has some sort of morbid, horrifying auto-pilot that directs it to the most awful and terrifying images when I am not totally in control.
Like last week when every time I would start to relax my mind would think about what would happen if I was in a car wreck and the car crashed into the water and I was unconscious and we were going to drown and how would I get Zane out of his car seat before we both died but it would be worse if he died because he's just a baby. . .
Are you crying now? Because that is really sad.
And that's the sort of stuff my mind thinks up in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping.
So cue the monsters. . .
For about six months after we were married I was haunted by the thought of some little troll/goblin that totally crept around our bathroom. At least he lived there in my mind.
And I have to pee in the middle of the night A LOT, people. Eventually I got over it.
Still. . .sometimes even evil little troll dude creeps back into my mind.
But not as bad as the aliens.
Jeez.
So I'm hoping that writing this will be some sort of "facing my fear" exercise. I hate those freakin' aliens. I'm pretty terrified of aliens in general. Not that I necessarily believe "We are not alone" but the thought of encountering a whole different kind of critter that could be light years (no pun intended) more advanced than us--and hungry/angry/etc. gives me the willies.
So is this helping?
I dunno. We'll see tonight and I'll get back to you.
Until then, don't you DARE make any of the clicking noises like the aliens did in the movie. I'll punch you in the arm.