Caffeine is my friend

I always imagined that when I was pregnant I would be the total "nothing to hurt my baby" hippy who foreswore all caffeine, sugar, trans-fats, alcohol, high-mercury fish, licking lead paint, etc. and maintained a kick-arse workout and meditation/yoga routine while weaving cloth from organic cotton to make clothing and diapers for my child.

And to some extent I have been that "granola" girl I always imagined. Some things were easy to give up. For example, I never had a taste for lead paint or mackerel. Just, yuck! And since I married Mr. Extreme Sport Universe, my external motivation to keep working out has been high. My semi-daily Diet Coke was easy to cut out, and now that I live in a land without easy access to fast food or good tortillas chips, my trans fat intake is not bad at all. My prenatal vitamins do not jive with the java, so unless I am prepared to eat a full meal with the two, I am out of luck with the coffee. And I'm knitting, so I guess that's close enough to weaving organic cloth.

It's not that I have ever been a caffeine junkie, but I have enjoyed the juice for many years. Part of my teaching persona as Senora Obnoxiously Perky in the Manana involved two cups of black coffee each morning followed by a huge jug of water and then a Diet Coke in the PM. Just ask Barts, my neighbor teacher and soul sistah, how many times I had to ask her to watch my "mutantes" while I dashed out to hacer pis-pis. I had to pee a lot. But I never considered myself addicted to caffeine.

Often I would go off the bean to try to deal with stress/headaches/migraine and switch to herbal tea in the morning. After initial minor withdrawal symptoms, this was never a problem and I always enjoyed the change of pace. But one thing I learned about was the "caffeine drunk."

Have you ever been caffeine drunk?

I distinctly remember the first time it happened. John and I were headed down to San Luis Pass to do some fishing and picked up some Chiki-Fil-A for breakfast on the way down. MMMMMM. Chik-Fil-A. . .anyway. . .I had been off coffee for several weeks in an attempt to stop having killer headaches every day so my system was de-toxed. And I took a sip of John's coffee. Then another one. And suddenly I was Chatty Kathy, bouncing off the walls of the truck and the most likable, personable person you had ever met. I was caffeine drunk.

It's amazing that caffeine is legal with how it affects people!!!!

Anyway. . . fast-forward to the future in my new pregnant life. I have not given up caffeine entirely. Don't judge me--I don't judge you for whatever vices you have. But honestly, a little caffeine is not going to make my child some ADHD psycho kid who is not under control. Or if it does, well, then I've made my bed and I'll sleep in it. So I have a small cup of tea in the morning. Usually caffeinated but with tons of milk. It's warm when it's freezing outside, and it gets me going. So sue me! And on the weekend, I make a pot of coffee and usually have one cup (lots of milk) one day. No caffeine drunk. Nothing exciting. Just a minimum level that I can hardly notice.

But last week when I was sick (again) I felt a craving for coffee. My body "needed"caffeine. So I put on a pot of coffee and had two cups. I felt amazing and could actually breathe through my nose at intervals. Caffeine drunk. I was a very pleasant, likable person for the whole day despite feeling like absolute poop. Just ask Chica #2 and her Chiquitas out here. I went over to teach a knitting lesson and they were like "Who are you?". I was sassy and fun and loud and talkative. That's just not my new, calm, relaxed, tranquil (boring!) pregnant self.

And on Friday I really wanted a Diet Coke in the afternoon (always a no-no for me--even when I was juiced up on caffeine anything after 4PM would keep me awake for days!) so I had a mini-can--I guess about 6 ounces. (I really need to post a pic of the mini-can as they are absolutely ADORABLE!!!) Then I was off to pick John up from work, and he was like "Who is this nice, bubbly, energetic person in my car?"

So I've decided that caffeine is my friend. No, I have no plans to start drinking any more of it unless absolutely necessary (seems to be a good pick-me-up on a blue day). And if you think I am a monster for exposing my unborn child to small amounts of caffeine, then you are way too uptight for me.

While I had all these ideas about what I would be like as a pregnant lady (like, it wouldn't bother me to gain weight for once in my life. Yeah. Right. It makes me insane and paranoid and freakish) the reality has been different. I guess that's how it works for most huge life changes. You certainly think you know how you will handle things, but then God's plan puts your life on a detour (like moving overseas and even changing that mid-stream) and you doggie-paddle for a while until you get your groove again. But you've changed permanently and often for the better.

So I've decided that caffeine is my friend, and if it helps me through this huge transition period in my life, then that makes it golden. My pregnancy has been the most incredibly time in my life, and I am already sad that soonish it will be over. I'm enjoying it to the absolute fullest, and a few little moments of "imperfection" are to be expected.

And so I raise my mug to you and salute our friend, caffeine. In moderation, of course!