Fun Monday: Worst First Line Ever (with picture)

--"Whoah, take a look at my scab!"

Me: Do I have any choice.

--"Look!" John plasters the worlds' most ginormous scab on the glass shower door. "Can we take a picture of it?"

Me: no response.

--"Are you gagging?"

Me: gag. gag. "I'm going to vomit."

--"Really, can we take a picture?"

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So that's it, my Fun Monday entry for the "write the worst first line to a novel, blog, etc." topic. I honestly was dreading this because it seemed almost impossible. Even my best writing is pretty mediocre, so trying to write my worst was bound to come out. . .weird and awkward at best.

Fortunately, reality often steps in and bites you in the butt.

Yeah, John and I really did have the above exchange. I wish I could say I made it up, but this is really how we roll, people. Here's to honesty in the blog, Jenny ( but certainly not what you meant last week)!!! Huge scabs, impressive poops, and other bodily functions are hot topics for discussion. I'm sure it will only get better when we have the baby.

And, yes. I did take a picture. I swear, you really want to skip this if you can avert your eyes from the car wreck that is to follow.

So there it is. The most famous and disgusting scab ever stuck to our shower glass.

I am still gagging.

The best part was that John left it in the shower for the rest of the day only to be discovered when I hopped in. Again with the gagging.

If you're wondering how my husband has such exquisite contusions, it's because he now has American football practice on Thursday nights on turf. Playing on turf makes turf burn and the ensuing blood and scabs inevitable.

I will say that John is concerned about my blog readership after this entry. I say it certainly gives me a bad first line. At least a disgusting one.

I might have to go throw up now.

PS: For a second entry, the following bad analogy: My butt itches like I've got worms.

PS, part two: Sorry if you are feeling as nauseous as I am right about now. I was planning a first line with something about badgers in it until the shower scene ensued.

Thanks for stopping by!