So I know you all talk about her. You know. . .that mom. The one who slathers her child in SPF 300 and long sleeves and pants and a hat when it's overcast. The mom who walks around the neighborhood with the mosquito netting enclosing the stroller. The mom who has the quick-draw action down with the hand sanitizer if anyone gets to close. That mom. The germophobe. The nutcase. The "don't anyone touch my baby" freakshow.
And, yeah. I make fun of that mom, too. Seriously, she's an easy target. She's the one wringing her hands at the playground that precious little Johnny will fall or get a scratch or eat some dirt or *gasp* be touched my another living being.
So while I'm not that mom to the extreme, I so share more of her characteristics than I want to.
But who would want some toothless stranger at the McDonald's outside Brenham touching their darling angel's cheeks? Nope. Not me.
Who would want some stranger's kids who live at day care to slobber all over your kid's toys at the hubbie's work-friends football game?
Seriously, it's so insane when these little ones are sick or hurting that I would do just about anything short of the mosquito netting to protect my little guy.
But what is the momiquette (mommy+etiquette) on things like asking other mothers not to let their kids just ooze their germs all over precious Johnny's toys? Or asking strangers not to touch your kid? Or asking even a family member to please wash their hands before touching the baby because you SAW them sneeze/cough/hack/wheeze into their hand just a minute ago when they thought no one was watching?
Even though I worry about all these things, I sure am not any good at "protecting" Z from them. How can I be that worrywart mom but have no backbone to put my "money where my mouth is"? How can I not have a voice to protect my kid from (yes, albeit perhaps sometimes only-in-my-mind) "dangers"? I certainly give off that mama bear persona when we are out in public, but that does not stop every germ in its tracks from reaching my kiddo.
And, yeah, I totally realize that there is nothing wrong with Z getting sick; there is nothing wrong with some germ exposure (seriously, if you saw the sad state of my housekeeping you would wonder what the heck I was ranting about--all the sickness dangers are in my own home); there is nothing wrong with other kids slobbering all over his toys at the football game.
But what is wrong is that I have not found my voice for protecting him. These little things are just warm-ups for bigger things, and I need to be on my game quickly so I don't end up putting him in a dangerous situation.
I realize this started as a tongue-in-cheek, poking fun of myself sort of post for being an overprotective mawmaw no-fun, but as I peck away, I'm realizing that there is some substance here. Of course, more of my new-mommy-insecurities that I will not "do the 'right' thing" or protect my little guy adequately.
Funny, how I've come to assume that what I'm doing in child-rearing is automatically totally wrong. Oh well, it's working for us so far. . .
I know I will find my voice. I know I will relax about sharing germs. I know I will be able to tell the toothless strangers not to touch my child because his strain of ebola is particularly contagious. I'm keenly aware that insecurity is not attractive, but I'm not in this to win any beauty contests. I'm just trying to figure it out one day at a time.
And until then, I guess I will still be that mom that you're making fun of out on the playground. Go ahead. I've got thick skin.
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8 comments:
Amen. It is so hard to find your voice. You feel like you must be doing it wrong or that it might offend someone. Well - here's to taking it one day at a time and slowly coming to grips with our motherhood.
Good for you, you can't put too much anti-sun crap on your kid when he's young. The effects of not doing so will show up later in life. Trust me I speak from experience here.
As for germs and such, the doctors now say that exposure is a good thing, as it helps with immunity. This is where dogs come in!
There is NOTHING wrong with being "that" mom - more moms should slather their kid in SPF...
and who wants a sick baby? there will be PLENTY of opportunity when he starts school. Keep him as germ free as you can. He's still too little to have to be exposed to that crap.
SPF 300 is a GOOD thing!
When it comes to strangers touching my kid I have no problem telling them to keep their hands to themselves. One lady actually asked me "Why?" I asked her if she would mind if I came over to her and just started petting her like a labrador. She got it.
don't equate mothering with smothering...
YOU decide. You ARE the mom... and if you are uncomfortable with ANYTHING... remember that is your natural instinct to protect your precious one.
Just say NO.
I always tell my daughters to listen to their first impression on what to do.
ps. nothing wrong with sunblock either I wish my mom had known about it
Stiggs: One day at a time is right!! Especially when Zane and Bay are conspiring against us!
WT: No dearth of germs in this household. Or sunscreen.
Karmyn: Appreciate the encouragement that I'm not a freakshow. Or alone!
Bethany: Will use the labrador comment
Pamela: You're right--I need to learn to trust, not doubt, my instinct
You will find your voice when it's over things that REALLY matter. Germs are one thing, but ... something will happen someday that will seriously offend you.
If it's not germs, it's getting along with other children. It's even harder to watch them deal with hurt feelings and disappointement than with germs. And part of being a good parent is letting your child face his own struggles without hovering. It's hard, but necessary -- unless you want to be THAT MOM. ;)
My best friend is "that mom" she has had a bottle of hand sanitizer with her at all times since her son was born. He has been pretty healthy, she on the other hand has almost lost a finger and possibly a hand to an infection brought on by a small cut on her finger. By the time her husband made her get out of bed and to the Doctor - she thought she had a stomach virus - her finger was turning black! Several Doctors recommened that she stop using hand sanitizer and antibactiral soaps so her body can regain some immunity.
Re: sneezing/coughing, turn your head into your shoulder or the crook of your arm, don't sneeze or cough into your hand - yuck.
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